My Family Members Are Dolls That Never Respond To Me Chapter 01
The day SAT scores came out, I burst into the living room, unable to contain my excitement.
“Mom! Dad! I got a 1590!”
“I can go to one of the best schools back East. I can be near my brother and Adrian!”
Only silence answered me.
Four handmade cloth dolls sat on the couch.
Dad. Mom. My brother. And Adrian Frost, my childhood sweetheart.
Their round button eyes stared back at me, keeping me company just as they had on countless silent nights before.
Of course. They had stopped wanting me long ago. They would never answer.
A year earlier, my little sister, Annie, had fallen ill.
They said my grades were the reason. They said I had pushed her so far that she had nearly thrown herself out a window.
So my parents threw me out and put me in a cheap studio apartment.
On my first night there, the drunk next door mistook my door for his and started pounding on it.
I curled up beneath the covers, too terrified to make a sound, even to cry.
I called Mom, Dad, my brother, and Adrian over and over again.
Not one of them answered.
Just before dawn, Mom finally sent me a message.
[Stop calling. Even seeing your number on the screen upsets Annie.]
After that, I made four dolls in their likeness, sewing them one careful stitch at a time.
They sat with me while I ate and slept beside me at night.
They listened to every small triumph and every sorrow I had no one else to tell.
But now, as tears slipped down my cheeks, I could no longer bring myself to hold them.
I did not want to keep loving them.
I wanted to leave them behind, along with all the pain they had caused me.
* * *
For the first time, I took a hard look at the studio where I had lived for the past year.
Paint peeled from the walls in ragged patches, exposing the pale gray concrete beneath.
The curtains had been washed so many times that the fabric had gone stiff, yet mildew still stained the edges.
The old air conditioner rattled and groaned overhead. On the rare occasions I could afford to turn it on, it blew nothing but warm air.
During the hottest months of SAT preparation, I sat at my desk every day, working through practice test after practice test.
By the time I finished one, I would be drenched in enough sweat to shower twice over.
But my family was not poor.
Mom, Dad, my brother, and Annie lived in a penthouse of more than three thousand square feet in the heart of the city.
Annie had a study and a music room of her own.
Even her dolls and collectibles had an entire room to themselves.
When they threw me out, Mom had merely frowned and said, “A year at most. There’s no point paying for anything nicer.”
“Once the SAT is over, we’ll bring you home.”
But more than two weeks had passed between the test and the release of the scores.
Not one of them had mentioned bringing me home.
I lowered my eyes and reached for the four dolls, intending to put them away.
Then my phone lit up with a message from Mom.
[Nora, come home later. We need to discuss your college applications.]
I stared at the word “home.”
The small hope I thought I had buried gave a traitorous flutter.
Maybe they still remembered me after all.
I hurried downstairs.
The bus suddenly seemed too slow, so for the first time in my life, I splurged on a rideshare.
When I opened the front door, the living room was alive with laughter.
Mom, Dad, my brother, and Adrian were all there.
Annie sat in the middle of them with four beautifully wrapped gifts in front of her.
Mom stroked her hair, her voice impossibly gentle.
“My sweet girl, you did so well. A 1450! Our Annie can go to one of the best schools back East too.”
My brother laughed and cut in.
“Of course she’s coming to my school. It’s the best engineering school in the country. I taught her math one problem at a time.”
“After all the work I put in this year, it wouldn’t make sense for us not to be on the same campus.”
Adrian frowned.
“No way.”
“I’m the one who brought up her English and writing scores. If she’s going anywhere, she should come to my university.”
The two of them argued over her as if she were something rare and precious, neither willing to give an inch.
I stood in the entryway like a thief who had wandered into someone else’s home.
A long moment passed before Mom finally noticed me. Her smile faded a little.
“Oh. Nora’s back.”
The laughter in the living room died at once.
Annie shot me a look, gathered all four gifts into her arms, and camed into her room.
The others looked at me with faint embarrassment.
My brother was the one who finally broke the silence.
“Don’t just stand there. Come sit down.”
I walked over without a word and sat in the armchair farthest from them.
Dad cleared his throat.
“The scores came out?”
I nodded.
“Yes.”
“How did you do?”
I opened my mouth, but Mom cut me off.
“Never mind your score. It isn’t the most important thing right now.”
“We asked you here to discuss where you’re applying.”
She avoided my eyes, visibly uneasy. “Don’t apply to any of those elite schools back East.”
“Annie spent an entire year preparing to get where she is. If you apply there too, she’ll be devastated.”
My fingernails dug into my palms as a dull ache crept through my hands.
They knew perfectly well that most of the country’s best universities were back East.
But to spare Annie even the possibility of being upset, they were willing to sacrifice my future without a second thought.
I looked at Dad, clinging to one last shred of hope.
He simply nodded.
“Listen to your mother.”
“Things are finally peaceful at home. Don’t disrupt everything again.”
I turned to my brother.
His brow furrowed, and he spoke as though the answer were obvious.
“There are good schools out west too. Apply to one in that port city on the West Coast. It’s closer to home anyway.”
Finally, I looked at Adrian.
He kept his gaze lowered, unable to meet my eyes.
After a long silence, he spoke softly.
“Nora, you’ve always been smart. You’ll be fine wherever you go.”
“But Annie isn’t like you. She needs someone to look after her.”