They Left Me Out Of The Picture So I Created My Own Chapter 05
The train pulled into Providence as the sky was beginning to lighten.
RISD’s buildings cascaded down the hill—red brick walls draped in ivy, with storefront windows displaying disassembled clocks, distorted mannequins, and installations made from ruined film.
At check-in, the department chair opened my file.
“Ah, Avery Brooks. The National Gold Medal winner.”
He looked up from his papers and smiled at me.
“We’ve been looking forward to meeting you.”
I froze for a second.
At home, that medal hadn’t been enough to get my family to a ceremony. But here, someone had known my name before I’d even arrived.
My dorm room was brighter than it had looked in the photos. A large window faced the river, and next to the bed was a private desk and a drawing board. I set my camera on the desk, then propped up a small print I’d developed myself.
That little corner was mine alone.
My phone remained silent.
My father and the others were still on vacation. I’d always been the quiet one, so even when they got home and didn’t see me, they’d probably assume I was holed up in a darkroom somewhere.
Maybe it would take them a few days. Maybe a week before they realized I was really gone.
In my first photography critique, the professor displayed a photo of an empty dining table.
I spoke up. “The point isn’t the person who’s missing. It’s that everyone else has gotten used to their absence. Every place setting is arranged so naturally. That’s what makes the empty seat so jarring.”
After class, a boy carrying a camera hurried to catch up with me.
“I’m Leo. I wanted to hear more about what you said—about that idea of habitual absence.”
We talked for a few minutes, and then he asked, “A few of us are putting together a first-year exhibition. Want to join? Your perspective is really sharp, and our group could use a voice like yours.”
Not because I could do things for them.
Not because I was low-maintenance.
For the first time, someone was asking me what I thought, not what I could do for them.