As I was choking to death from anaphylactic shock, my fiancé of three years said over the phone, “She’s just being dramatic.”
In that moment, any last shred of hope I had for him died.
For the past three years, they had secretly filmed me, turning my life into their running gag. This was the ninety-ninth time.
Even our wedding had been a lie.
He had deliberately never filed the marriage license we’d both signed. He didn’t want a wife; he wanted a legally binding punchline.
In the ambulance, I changed my emergency contact to my brother, Leo, and set a timed text message.
By the time Bennett finally rushed to the hospital, loudly announcing he was my husband, the nurse gave him a single, curt answer:
“Under HIPAA, I cannot confirm or deny any patient information. There is no marriage on record for you in our system. You have no right to visitation or inquiry.”
Just before dawn, the text I’d scheduled was sent.
“Joke #100—you finally killed the woman who thought she was your wife.”
Three days later, Leo placed an urn in front of him and refused to answer a single question.
Clutching the box, Bennett completely fell apart, demanding to know how I had died.
But by then, I had already landed in Denver.
I wanted every thought he had of me to be haunted by the fact that he’d killed me with his own two hands.
My Fake Death Was The Punchline To His Cruel Joke Chapter 08 That night, when he returned home, Camille and their friends were still celebrating in the living room, popping champagne. One of them laughed. “She didn’t actually die over a stupid joke, did she? That would be insane.” Camille held out the diamond ring
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My Fake Death Was The Punchline To His Cruel Joke Chapter 07 “Mr. Shaw, there is no record of a marriage between you and Ms. Ortiz in the Newport City Hall system. Under HIPAA, you are not her legal next of kin and have no right to any of her medical information.” “We had a
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My Fake Death Was The Punchline To His Cruel Joke Chapter 06 When we landed in Denver, Leo handed me a new phone. Camille was livestreaming the gala rehearsal on Instagram. She wore a black gown, a single white rose pinned to her chest. The caption read: [A moment of silence for Mara tonight. But
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My Fake Death Was The Punchline To His Cruel Joke Chapter 05 Camille’s sharp voice cut through the receiver. “Get over to the foundation gala rehearsal. Now. We need to run through the breakup speech again. Everyone is waiting for you.” Bennett looked at his phone, then back at me. In that brief hesitation, I
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My Fake Death Was The Punchline To His Cruel Joke Chapter 04 Then my phone rang. It was Camille. “Still breathing?” she purred, her voice dripping with mockery. “How was test ninety-nine? I added the walnut oil myself. It’s a shame you’re so hard to kill.” My hand tightened on the bedsheet. Her laughter tinkled
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My Fake Death Was The Punchline To His Cruel Joke Chapter 03 I lost consciousness before the ambulance doors slammed shut. When I came to, an oxygen mask was strapped to my face and an EMT was patting my shoulder. “She’s had one dose of epi.” “BP is still dropping. Prep a second.” The monitor
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My Fake Death Was The Punchline To His Cruel Joke Chapter 02 After Camille left, Bennett fell to his knees before me, taking my hands in his. “This is the last time,” he promised. He spread the studio blueprints on the coffee table and signed his name under the title of co-founder. Bennett Shaw. Side
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My Fake Death Was The Punchline To His Cruel Joke Chapter 01 As I was choking to death from anaphylactic shock, my fiancé of three years said over the phone, “She’s just being dramatic.” In that moment, any last shred of hope I had for him died. For the past three years, they had secretly
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