His Number Changed So I Changed My Life Chapter 30
It was that every time, he chose to protect himself first.
I asked him about the day at the hospital.
“After Madison violated the restraining order, why did you try to stop me from calling the police?”
Parker’s eyes reddened.
“I thought if no one called the police, things could still go back to the way they were.”
“Back to what way?”
He had no answer.
Before the cheating? Before the lies? Or before he gave Madison my mother’s address?
There was no “before” to go back to.
Near the end of the interview, he said, “I want to add one thing.”
I nodded for him to continue.
“Charlotte never betrayed me. There was no affair between her and Austin. The divorce is my responsibility.”
“Do you want that included in the piece?”
“Yes.”
“That’s coming very late.”
“I know.”
When the recording ended, the other editor left first.
Parker remained in his seat.
“Lottie, I’m leaving the industry, but not because I suddenly grew a conscience,” he said. “It’s because no one will hire me anymore.”
“Is that part of the interview?”
“No.”
He looked up at me.
“I used to think losing my career was the worst thing that could possibly happen. I realized later that it wasn’t.”
I didn’t ask him what was worse.
He had already said he regretted it. He had already cried.
None of that could give my mother back her night of terror, couldn’t bring back the child who was never born, and couldn’t turn his seven years of fidelity back into anything but a prelude to betrayal.
“Parker, the interview is over.”
He nodded once.
When he reached the door, he stopped.
“Did you ever really love me?”
“I did.”
His shoulders slumped almost imperceptibly.
“That’s why I left.”
A person who has never been loved might be able to lie to himself, to say he simply never learned how to cherish someone.
Parker couldn’t.
He knew exactly what it felt like to be loved, and he chose betrayal anyway.
After he left, my editor forwarded me the official statement from Madison’s lawyer.
In it, Madison blamed all of her actions on Parker misleading her.
But in the security footage, she had personally confirmed that Parker knew what she had done.
At last, they had started calling each other liars.