I Heard His Thoughts Never His Love Chapter 10
My entire body froze.
I turned around.
Silas stood there.
He had lost a lot of weight.
His black coat hung loosely from his body, and exhaustion from the long journey shadowed his eyes.
But the moment he saw me, those dull eyes lit up.
“I finally found you.”
He hurried toward me.
His voice trembled.
“I missed you so much.”
Theo looked at me, then at Silas.
He didn’t ask questions.
“Looks like you have something to deal with.”
“We can finish the road-trip route online. Call me if you need anything.”
I nodded.
“Okay.”
After Theo left, Silas kept staring at his back.
“Who is he?”
“A friend.”
“Just a friend?”
Silas’s breathing quickened.
“You’ve forgotten me, haven’t you?”
“Nora, you can’t fall in love with someone else.”
I didn’t answer.
I simply looked at him.
I waited.
And waited.
But my ears remained silent.
I couldn’t hear his thoughts anymore.
Maybe the privilege God had given me disappeared the moment I truly decided to let him go.
Or maybe everything he was saying now was finally what he truly meant.
“Silas, there’s nothing between us anymore.”
“No.”
He shook his head frantically.
“Serena and I never got engaged. It was fake.”
“I only wanted to make you jealous. I wanted you to come back to me. That was all.”
“You’re the only person I’ve ever loved.”
He rushed through the explanation as though afraid I would disappear again if he spoke too slowly.
“After you left, nothing felt right.”
“The house was too quiet. No one ate with me. No one talked to me.”
“I can’t live without you.”
“Nora, I know I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t know how to interact with people before. I couldn’t control my emotions.”
“Give me one more chance. I’ll never say those things to you again.”
“Please don’t leave me.”
His apology sounded sincere.
But I was no longer the girl who could be overwhelmed with joy by one belated confession.
“Silas, when did you start loving me?”
He froze.
Thinking he saw hope, his eyes brightened.
“I don’t know exactly.”
“Maybe sometime in high school. I already couldn’t live without you by then.”
“When you weren’t around, I missed you. When I saw you talking to someone else, I got upset.”
“You stayed with me every day. You treated me so well. You always had something to talk about—”
“But that’s not what you said.”
I interrupted him.
“You said you never loved me.”
“You said I’d been clinging to you for ten years and that I annoyed you.”
“I didn’t mean those things.”
Silas hurried to defend himself.
“I was embarrassed to admit I loved you. That’s why I refused to say it.”
I looked at him calmly.
“So you were a coward and a hypocrite.”
“You couldn’t live without someone, yet you acted like you were above her.”
“All you knew how to do was use your illness as an excuse to hurt people.”
“You really are annoying.”
Silas’s face changed instantly.
His lips moved.
His voice sounded wounded.
“How can you say that to me?”
“Why can’t I?”
I looked at him evenly.
“I listened to those words for ten years.”
“You heard them once and couldn’t take it.”
“So what gives you the right to demand my forgiveness?”
The color slowly drained from his face.
I walked past him.
“Go home.”
“Stop wasting your time.”
Silas didn’t give up.
Every day after that, he waited outside my academic building.
He learned to buy me breakfast.
He learned to hold an umbrella over me when it rained.
He learned to ask what I wanted instead of assuming he had the right to decide for me.
He didn’t dare stand too close.
He simply followed awkwardly several steps behind.
Sometimes old habits slipped out and he said something harsh.
But he apologized almost immediately.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I don’t think you’re annoying. I’ll change.”
And he really did change.
That was exactly why it hurt even more.
Because it proved he had always known which words would hurt me.
He simply hadn’t bothered to change before.
He had been certain I would never leave.