I Heard His Thoughts Never His Love Chapter 12
After graduation, Theo and I planned to travel before going home together.
The night before we left, I received a message from Mrs. Grey.
Nora, I know I shouldn’t bother you anymore.
But Silas is getting worse. He refuses to eat and won’t cooperate with treatment.
The doctors say he’s trapped himself in the past, and no one can reach him.
Could you come back and see him? You don’t have to forgive him. Just convince him to start eating normally again.
I’m begging you.
I stared at the message for a long time.
I could harden my heart toward Silas.
But I could never forget the kindness his parents had shown me.
In the end, I gave in.
Theo didn’t try to talk me out of it.
He simply changed our flights.
“I’ll go with you.”
“The past deserves a real ending.”
When we returned, we went straight to Pinewood Recovery Center.
Silas was even thinner than he had been six months earlier.
He sat beside the window, his oversized hospital clothes hanging from a body that looked almost skeletal.
He didn’t react when the door opened.
Not until I said his name.
“Silas.”
He slowly turned his head.
The moment he saw me, light returned to his empty eyes.
“Nora?”
He stumbled to his feet as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
“You really came back?”
Mrs. Grey stood outside the room, wiping away tears.
“Serena came several times. He cursed at her and drove her out every time.”
“He keeps saying her terrible idea is the reason he lost you.”
“Nora, I’m not asking for anything else. Just please convince him to eat.”
I walked over to Silas.
“Why are you doing this to yourself?”
He stared at me.
“Life means nothing without you.”
“And what about your parents?”
I looked at him.
“They love you. They’ve spent years begging people to help with your illness.”
“Now they’ve been reduced to begging someone you hurt.”
“Did you think about them while you were starving yourself?”
Silas froze.
He instinctively looked toward the door.
Mrs. Grey had turned away to wipe her tears.
Mr. Grey’s hair had grown much grayer.
After a long time, Silas finally asked hoarsely,
“Can we really never go back?”
“No.”
I gave him no false hope.
“That past is the one you want back.”
“It isn’t the one I want.”
“The old you had someone who indulged you and stayed no matter what.”
“But the old me spent every day carefully guessing what mood you were in.”
“I never want to live that way again.”
Theo was outside helping Mrs. Grey organize the food she had brought.
Silas watched him through the glass for a long time.
“Does he treat you well?”
“Very.”
“How can you know? Everyone is nice at first. Eventually, people get tired of you.”
I didn’t argue.
There was an apple on the table.
I picked up a knife and slowly peeled it.
The long strip of peel came away in one unbroken piece.
I held it up for Theo to see.
He immediately leaned over and took a picture.
“Nora, that’s incredible. You peeled the whole apple without breaking the skin.”
“You should enter an apple-peeling competition. You’d destroy everyone.”
I laughed helplessly and punched his arm.
“Can you be serious for once?”
He clutched his shoulder dramatically.
“Every word came straight from my heart. What wasn’t serious about it?”
“Get out. You’re distracting me.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Theo washed the knife before leaving the room with a grin.
I handed the peeled apple to Silas.
“Do you understand now?”
“With him, I never have to wonder whether I’m loved.”
“He never hesitates to praise me, and he never hesitates to tell me he loves me.”
“But during those ten years with you, I never knew whether you loved me.”
“I couldn’t feel your love.”
“All I felt was that I was always giving, always compromising, always chasing after you.”
“Silas, I get tired too.”
He stared at the apple in his hands for a long time.
I stood and walked toward the door.
Just before I left, he called me.
“Nora.”
I turned around.
His eyes were red.
His voice was barely audible.
“I’m sorry.”
I looked at him quietly.
Then I turned and left.
I didn’t tell him it was okay.
Because those ten years had mattered to me.
The pain had been real.
A belated apology couldn’t erase it.
Outside the recovery center, Theo took my hand.
“It’s my first time in this city.”
“Shouldn’t Professor Nora show me around?”
I looked up at him.
“You’re not going to ask what happened in there?”
“The past can stay in the past.”
He held my hand and smiled.
“We’ve got a future to look forward to.”