My Last Birthday: I Died While Mommy Said She Was Done With Me Chapter 08
The day of my funeral, the sky was gray and heavy.
A thin rain fell all around us.
I lay inside that black box as they slowly lowered me into the ground.
Mommy looked like a statue that could still breathe.
Her face was completely pale.
Her eyes were empty as she stared straight ahead.
Daddy stood with his back straight.
The gray hairs that had appeared overnight were impossible to miss.
He held Lily’s hand with his other hand.
She was wearing a little black dress.
She looked at everything around her, confused by this strange new world.
Then she looked up at Daddy.
“Daddy, why does Emily have to sleep in that box?”
“Is it cold in there?”
One of our relatives walked over and patted Daddy on the shoulder.
He sighed.
“John, I’m sorry.”
“Maybe it’s better this way. At least she isn’t suffering anymore. You and your wife can finally get some rest too.”
He probably meant to comfort them.
But his words felt like a dull knife cutting into Mommy and Daddy again and again.
Mommy swayed on her feet.
Then a voice came from somewhere behind the crowd.
A little sharp. A little mean.
“If you ask me, she already lived longer than anyone expected.”
“The doctors said she wouldn’t make it past five. You two spent enough money on her over the years to raise several more kids.”
“Now that she’s gone, it’s better for everyone. At least you two can finally put that burden down.”
The whole cemetery went silent.
Daddy turned around.
His eyes were suddenly bright red.
He stared at the distant relative who had said it.
His chest rose and fell hard.
“What the hell did you just say?”
The man shrugged.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“It’s the truth. She was sickly from the day she was born…”
“Go to hell!”
Daddy suddenly screamed.
He pulled away from Mommy and tried to charge at him.
Several relatives rushed over and grabbed him.
“John, calm down! Not today! Please!”
Daddy fought against them with everything he had.
The veins on his forehead stood out.
Rain and tears ran down his face together.
“Let me go!”
“Was that supposed to be something a person says?”
“That was my daughter!”
“My daughter was only five years old!”
“She barely even got to go to school!”
“What did she ever do to deserve this?”
“We’re the ones who failed her!”
“We’re the ones who didn’t take care of her!”
Mommy finally couldn’t hold herself up anymore.
She collapsed onto the wet ground.
She covered her face with both hands and sobbed.
I ran over to the man who had said those awful things and waved my hands as hard as I could.
“Stop! Please, just stop!”
Then I ran back to Daddy.
“Daddy, don’t be angry. Please don’t fight him.”
“He wasn’t completely wrong.”
“I made things harder for you.”
“I made you work so hard.”
“Please don’t be sad because of me.”
“I’m not worth it. Really, I’m not.”
But my voice was nothing more than a whisper carried away by the wind.
In the end, everyone around him started yelling at that relative and told him to leave.
He left early, looking embarrassed and uncomfortable.
The funeral continued.
A small gravestone was placed in the ground.
My name was carved into it, along with the short years of my life.
When everything was over, everyone else left.
Mommy and Daddy stayed behind.
Mommy crouched down and touched my headstone, the way she used to touch my hair.
“Emily, next time, please be born healthy.”
“Run around. Jump. Go wherever you want.”
“Go to school. Make lots of friends.”
“Stay safe and happy your whole life.”
“Can you hear me, Emily?”
I swallowed hard.
“I hear you, Mommy.”
Then the rain swallowed my voice.
Daddy helped Mommy to her feet.
But she didn’t want to leave.
She stared at my picture on the gravestone without blinking.
Daddy’s voice was hoarse as he put an arm around her shoulders.
“Come on.”
Lily had been standing quietly beside them.
Suddenly, she looked up and tugged on Mommy’s sleeve.
Her eyes stayed on my gravestone.
“Mommy, can we come see Emily again tomorrow?”
“I’ll bring her the sticker my teacher gave me.”
Mommy looked like she was about to fall apart again.
Daddy quickly picked Lily up and turned them both around.
“No, sweetheart.”
“Emily has to sleep for a very, very long time.”
“We’re going home.”
He didn’t look back.
He was afraid that if he did, he would never be able to take another step away.
He carried Lily in his arms and held his broken wife close as they slowly walked away from the cemetery.
I stayed where I was.
I watched the three of them disappear into the thin rain.
Daddy’s back was slightly bent.
Mommy’s shoulders kept shaking.
Lily rested her head on Daddy’s shoulder and kept looking back at my grave.
My body started to feel lighter.
My thoughts began to fade, slowly spreading out like smoke.
I used the last little bit of strength I had to raise my hand.
I waved at them gently.
Goodbye, Mommy and Daddy.
Goodbye, Lily.
This life had been too hard.
Love had felt like a burden.
Being alive had felt like a burden.
Even dying had come with fighting and regret.
If there really was another life…
Never mind.
Life was too painful.
I didn’t want to come back for another one.
The end.