They Thought I Failed—Until I Turned Down Harvard Chapter 01
The day college decisions came out, I was on an Amtrak train back from our senior trip with my boyfriend, Ethan, and my foster sister, Olivia.
The moment Olivia boarded, she took a window seat. Ethan sat down beside her without hesitation.
By the time I put my luggage away, the only seat left was across the aisle. I froze for a second.
Ethan said casually, “Jenny, Olivia and I were talking about what we might study at Harvard.”
“Didn’t you say you weren’t too confident about your applications? Just sit over there and watch something.”
They laughed and talked the whole way, while I couldn’t get a word in.
At five that afternoon, the decisions finally came out.
Olivia threw her arms around Ethan. “Oh my God! We both got into Harvard!”
Ethan grinned. “Check the family chat. Everyone’s congratulating us.”
From across the aisle, I could hear my parents’ voices through his phone.
“Olivia and Ethan both got into Harvard! We’re so proud of you!”
Then came Ethan’s parents.
“It’s great that you two will be at Harvard together. You’ll be able to look out for each other.”
I opened iMessage.
I wasn’t in the family chat.
No one had asked about me.
Forget it. None of them had ever considered me anyway.
It was time to choose a future of my own.
…
When Ethan came back from the café car, he handed Olivia a vanilla iced coffee with a straw already tucked into the lid.
Then, as if he had only just remembered I was there, he held out a bottle of water to me.
“Jenny, I didn’t know what you wanted, so I just grabbed you some water.”
He remembered exactly what Olivia liked.
But he didn’t even know what his own girlfriend liked to drink.
My eyes stung.
The joy I’d felt when I saw my acceptance email vanished in an instant.
I didn’t take the bottle.
“No thanks. I’m not thirsty.”
Ethan’s hand froze in midair.
Annoyance crossed his face.
“Jenny, weren’t you the one who insisted on this senior trip?”
“I seriously don’t get why you’ve been in such a bad mood the whole time.”
Three years ago, when Ethan was still trying to win me over, he promised that once we graduated high school, we would go to Miami and Key West together.
I had looked forward to it for three years.
I’d imagined sitting by the ocean with him, riding rented scooters to chase the sunrise.
And now he was acting like I had forced everyone to come.
I hadn’t even known Olivia was joining us until right before we left.
All because she had said, “There are too many places on the itinerary. It sounds exhausting.”
Ethan had tossed the travel guide I spent so much time making straight into the trash.
“Jenny, we’re on vacation. Just relax. We don’t have to stick to a schedule.”
…
On the trip, when we were at the beach, I was about to ask Ethan for a photo together.
Olivia blushed and turned to me.
“Jenny, can I take one with Ethan? I’m so awkward posing by myself.”
Before I could answer, Ethan shoved the instant camera into my hands.
“Jenny, don’t worry about me. Just make Olivia look good.”
Bitterness spread through my chest as Ethan focused entirely on teaching Olivia how to pose.
I had spent so much time practicing photography because I wanted to take a picture with Ethan by the ocean and finally make our relationship public on Instagram.
Instead, I ended up using those skills to photograph my boyfriend with someone else.
…
Olivia’s movement snapped me back to the present.
She took the bottle of water from Ethan and lightly swatted his arm.
“Ethan, Jenny’s probably upset because her applications didn’t go the way she wanted.”
“You’re her boyfriend. Can’t you be a little more understanding? Apologize.”
Olivia always knew how to play the considerate one.
Ever since she moved into our house in high school, everyone had compared me to her.
She was sweet, agreeable, and easy to love.
Next to her, I always ended up looking like the difficult one.
After she came, the sentence I heard most often was:
“Jenny, why can’t you be more like Olivia?”
Even Ethan, who had grown up with me, was no different.
He stood up and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.
“Sorry, Olivia. I got too excited and didn’t watch my tone.”
He apologized.
But he apologized to Olivia.
For a moment, I honestly couldn’t tell what he thought he was apologizing for.
Olivia came over and crouched beside my seat.
“Jenny, don’t listen to him.”
“You can always take a gap year and apply again next year. Ethan and I will be waiting for you at Harvard.”
Ethan immediately chimed in.
“Jenny, maybe your application just wasn’t strong enough this year. Take a year to build a stronger application, and I’m sure you’ll get into Harvard next time. Olivia and I can help you with your essays.”
I said nothing and kept scrolling through my phone.
The truth was, I had been accepted to Harvard too.
UC San Diego had also admitted me and awarded me a Regents Scholarship.
But now, I didn’t want to go anywhere with them.