Small Things You Promised Chapter 06
I had assumed a breakup was hard and that I would be devastated.
After all, the end of a five-year relationship was supposed to be painful.
I should be crying, drowning my sorrows in wine, or yelling by the window.
Nonetheless, I did none of these things.
After one glass of wine, I went to take a shower.
It hurt when the hot water splashed on my shoulders, and yet it was somewhat soothing.
Afterward, I stood at the door, my hair dripping water.
Before, every time I washed my hair, if Cayson was in the living room, I’d throw him a towel and ask him to dry my hair.
He would only tousle my hair perfunctorily with his eyes fixed on his phone screen.
“Done,” he would say afterward and throw the towel back to me.
“Done” and “no big deal” were the most frequent phrases he said to me.
At this point, standing at the bathroom door alone, I could reach the towels on the rack easily.
Slowly and meticulously, I dried my hair. There was no rush.
When it was done, I applied hair conditioner and used a blow-dryer till most of my hair was dry.
The next morning, my colleague, Eleanor Garcia, was surprised to see me.
“Rae, you look great. You and your boyfriend broke up. Shouldn’t you be haggard?”
“I slept splendidly last night.”
“Really? You slept well after a breakup?”
I didn’t answer.
I wasn’t putting on a strong face. I did sleep well.
I fell asleep at 10:30 last night.
No more of another person’s tossing and turning while watching videos on the phone.
No more of the noise from the alarm, which Cayson used to set for 6:30 a.m. and turn off three times. No more of him waking me up and then complaining that I was a light sleeper.
It was wonderful to sleep alone.
At lunch break, I went to the cafeteria and felt like having fish.
The lady knew me. She usually ladled more food for me than for others.
Today, after a glance at my tray, she said with a frown, “Girl, you look pale. Do you have anemia? Meats are good for you.”
With that, she picked up a big serving of perfectly done steaks and put them on my tray.
When I sat down at a table, I looked at the food, deeply touched.
The lady was basically a stranger. I only met her at the cafeteria at lunchtime.
But she knew my favorite dishes, remembered how I looked last time, and reminded me what was good for me.
On the other hand, what did Cayson remember after spending five years with me?
He remembered Sadie hated chopped onions.
He remembered she had an immunodeficiency.
He remembered her birthday and her favorite toy.
He couldn’t remember I had an injured back. He couldn’t remember I hated pink. He couldn’t remember I loved iced orange juice. No matter how many times I repeated it, he couldn’t remember anything I said.
Come to think of it, it was incredible.
How did I manage to spend five years with that man?
Love turned people into fools.
Or did hormones make people blind to the truth?
Either way, it was horrifying.
After I broke up with Cayson, my bestie also often asked, “Rae, are you really not sad?”
I thought about it and replied, “A little, but I’m not sad because he left. I recently realized how pathetic I was before.”
“Pathetic? How so?”
“I was waiting for a man to love me, and I gave him the chance to hurt me. Wasn’t that pathetic?”
She didn’t understand and just smiled. I didn’t explain.
I understood. That sufficed.
Cayson called me several times. I didn’t answer and blocked all of his contact information.
When a relationship was over, the two people should break it off thoroughly.
Keeping things ambiguous or waiting for the other person to come back was boring.
Against my expectations, my peaceful life was disturbed again before long.
I was putting on a facial mask when the doorbell rang.
I looked through the peephole and saw six people standing outside.
There were my parents, Cayson, his parents, and Sadie.
They crowded the hallway.